My Life ,My Time..

I Spend A lot of time alone Reason for that is Because,I live with My 80 year old Mother And I never have done one thing Right In her Mind.

Nope Not from the Day I was Born ,You see I was a Girl and she wanted a Boy.

The Doctor told her he would take me but,nope she guessed she should take me home ,why ? Before I was very old I was given to my Uncle that lived in M…Tennessee My Aunt thinking I was his because of it made me sleep in my Play pen in the middle of the Winter time in the late 50’s I got very sick and they thought I was going to die,My Uncle told My Dad he though he should take me back Parents did that at age 5 Myself and My older Brother Got Chicken Pox same time of cho..and we were homeless no clue why that was never talked about ,But My guess is my Dad drank the Money that was to pay the rent.

Any way,They(our Parents) took us to DHR there in town and Ask them to take us,they told them there was no room that they were full my Dad told the Lady We had no Place to live and we had chicken Pox,and he kept after her to take us,in the end He said what about the Girl then He at least a boy and can take it better,She got Mad at Him and told him she would rearrange and Make room for us both for 1 week and they had better be back with a place to live and a job or they would be Charged with Child abandonment and she would see they went to jail.

Got to love Parents Like that right.?

Anyway,That’s been the tone of my Life,It never got better,when They found I was old enough to be useful well,I because Mother to my Younger Brother who was a Year old.

If I went he went where U found me U found him if I was home.

He Didn’t cry for either one of them He cried for me,this in the end made My Dad Mad.

It was never good to mix Drink and Mad with My Dad You would Pay for it Believe me,and it was that way until I was 16 at that time He Had started Hitting on the Younger Boys Legs ,One Day we were out side and they had on shorts and their legs was black and Blue ,I look at her and told her right in his face if this don’t stop I’m going to DHR if U Don’t and I mean it their is no since in this.And from that day On it stopped.You see I was the one that was always doing for every one and keeping the peace.

Never Bothering any one and he Hit My older Brother one day because he was drunk and mad and I told Him If he ever made the Mistake of hitting me he had better be gone before I got off the floor ,He turned white and He left the room.

He Did he made that mistake ,but lol Yep he knew to hit the door,and did..

I have a ex that can tell U how hitting me works.

Any way back to way I stay to my self,My mother has a bad habit of picking a fight so to speak,She accuses me of things I don’t do.

She is for ever telling people lie’s on me ,so my only peace is when I am alone.

Friends You ask ? well ,I once had Some but,I really got tired Of being the go to Friend,the one that get’s talked about and run down until they needed some thing so..

I have chosen to spend my Time alone so to speak,I’d rather be alone than used and or abused wouldn’t You ?

I have A lot of Friends On A site online wonderful Friends that let me blow off steam when I need to and listen when I need to talk,and give advice when they can Isn’t that what any friend you meet for Coffee would do.?

Any way,I guess what I’m saying is It may seem I’m alone But truth is I’m Not…

I found that I’d rather be with out Friends that are not true friends..

And I don’t think I’m alone in that fact.

I do hope some day to find Some one that can except me and love me for who I am..

I know there has to be some one in this world that can do that.

Some one I can talk to about any thing and know they want repeat it to any one,know that they love me enough to be faithful to me some one I can trust with my very life.

That May or may not be only a dream but,that is my wish with all my heart,Something I’ve never ever had…

I pray no one else has been where I’ve been ,but Yet I know There are others out there that have,and I feel for them,because I so understand..

You see this is only a touch of what the unwanted child goes through…

Have a great and wonderful new year..

Fay

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